Harrison Ford
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Name: | Jack Marshall | Indiana Jones | Han Solo |
Occupation: | POTUS (Pres. of the US)ü | Archeologist | Smuggler |
Opponents: | Soviet Nationals | Nazis; Mola Ram | The Imperial Forcesü |
Equipment: | Cell Phone; On Flight Equipment | Hat; Whip | Blaster; Millennium Falkinü |
Training: | US Air Force | Undergrad: University of Chicago; Ph.D: University of Parisü | Fighter Pilot |
Special Abilities: | The power of Amurricaü | Super Smart; Mad Whip Skillz | Understands Wookie |
Accomplishments: | Kills the Terrorists; Stops their plot | Discovered: Ark of the Covenant; Sivalinga Stones; Holy Grail; Alien Crystal Skulls ü | Bagged Princess Leia; Helped defeat the Empire |
BFF: | The American People | Wan ‘Short Round’ Li (Asian Kid that yells MR. JONES) | Chewbacca; Luke Skywalkerü |
Box Office: | $172,956,409 | $936,517,650 | $4,411,410,761ü |
Quote: | “Get Off My Plane”ü | “You want to talk to God? Let’s go see him together, I’ve got nothing better to do.” | “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.” |
Random | Harrison Ford had Gary Oldman actually hit him during the final fight sceneü | 3-0 vs. Nazis but still scared of snakes | Chewbacca is a Wookie from Endor but Wookies don’t come from Endor…How does that make sense??? |
Score: | 4 | 2 | 4 |
This is Amurrica and I am Amurrican and I choose PRESIDENT JACK MARSHALL
KEANU REEVES
| |  | | |
| Name: | Johnny Utah | Neo | Shane Falco |
| Occupation: | FBI Agentü | Computer Programmer | Replacement Player |
| Opponents: | Ex-Presidents (Bank Robbers) | The Matrix | Players Replaced; Other Teams |
| Equipment: | 9mm Pistol | Anything he wantsü | Football |
| Training: | Ohio State Football; FBI; Surfingü | Computer Downloads | Ohio State Football |
| Special Abilities: | Chameleon like acting abilities | Has power over the Matrix in and out of the computerü | Can Take a Hit |
| Accomplishments: | Learned to Surf; Robbed a Bank; | Saves Zion | Lost the National Championship; Took Washington to the Playoffsü |
| BFF: | Gary Busey and Patrick Swayzeü | Trinity | Clifford Franklin (#1 Wide Reciever) |
| Box Office: | $83,531,958 | Entire Franchise: $1,623,116,618ü | $50,054,511 |
| Quote: | “Bodhi, this is your fucking wake-up call man. I am an F, B, I, Agent!” | “I Know Kung-Fu” | “Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.”ü |
| Random: | The Fast and the Furious was a carbon copy of this movie…Keanu would act circles around Paul Walker | Will Smith was supposed to be Neo…It would have been a completely different movie | In the jail electric slide it looks like Keanu does not participateü |
| Score: | 3 | 4 | 3 |
Neo Wins...BUT
It doesn't matter who I put in for Keanu...He will always be a BAMF except maybe in The Lake House
| |  | |  |
| Name: | Blade | Sidney Deane | Nino Brown |
| Occupation: | Vampire Killerü | Hustler | Drug Dealer |
| Opponents: | Vampiresü | Anyone who steps on the Court | Police |
| Equipment: | Sword; Silver; Garlic; Stakes | Shoes; Basketball | Crack; Turkeysü |
| Training: | Martial Artsü | School of Hard Knocks | School of Hard Knocks |
| Special Abilities: | Powers of a Vampire; Daywalkerü | Baller | No Conscience |
| Accomplishments: | KILLS A LOT OF VAMPS | Gets Gloria on Jeopardy; Wins the 2v2 Tourneyü | Creates The Carter |
| BFF: | Whistler | Billy Hoyle (Woody ballin is AWESOME)ü | G-Money |
| Box Office: | $417,973,678ü | $90,753,806 | $47,624,353 |
| Quote: | “You obviously do not know who you are *fucking* with!” | “Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.” | “Am I my Brother’s Keeper”ü |
| Random: | Those who know Ip Man will be shocked to hear that he was the Fight Choreographer for Blade II | Charlie Sheen was supposed to be Billy Hoyle…He is a Winner but you know Woody would kill him in 1v1ü | The Carter is partly the inspiration for the name of Lil’ Wayne’s albums |
| Score: | 5 | 3 | 2 |
Blade Wins!
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